Mother's love

once, in a rare moment of truth telling, my mother confessed that she tried to abort me. Coming from such a devout Catholic, this admission was shocking. What did you do? I asked. I slept on Sears catalogs. I suspected she did worse but wouldn't admit it, even

though she didn't want me. When the time came for me to leave home, she threatened me. If you move to California, it will kill me. I went anyway to Sanoma County. A few years later, when I was suicidal, I realized I never really got away from

her. I carried her revenge inside of me. I survived that depression, and I began making yearly pilgrimage back to the Midwest to relieve the guilt of moving so far away from Mom. During one of the last visits before she died, Mom said, If there's anything you

want, here, take it. Now the only thing I want Mom, is the mother's ring we gave you on Mother's Day. The ring represented mother's love, and I wanted it. I'm giving that ring to your sister. She doesn't have any jewelry. A few years later, my sister

and I stood at Mom's open coffin. The ring was still on her finger. She wanted you to have it. I told my sister I don't wear jewelry. Bury it with her, she replied. Please take it as a way to honor her wishes. She slipped it off.

Mom's finger and onto her own 14 years passed in October of the year, I turned 70. An email came from my brother in Illinois informing me that the woman who bought Mom's house had found a ring with five birthstones in Mom's backyard. She wondered if it

could belong to her mother. When I saw a photo of the ring, I realized Mom must have lost the original ring and how to duplicate made My sister got the duplicate ring. I told my brother the story of the ring and that I always wanted it.

I knew my brother wanted it to, because he never felt loved by mother, either. He was the third son in the family, and when he was born, she told her sisters, who were her midwives, to throw him out in the Pigpen. She didn't want another son.

A few months later, at Christmas, I received a package from my brother. I ripped the package open only to find bags of organic walnuts. My heart sunk. Digging deeper, I found a note that said, Look inside the pill box. Inside the pillbox was Mom's ring, my

October birthstone. The pink one sat right in the middle of the ring at the center of the family, seemingly holding it all together. Mom, who's no longer trapped in her earthly story, is now pure spirit, and she sent me a ring from wherever she is now.

I've finally belonged in the family.