00:00:44.340 - 00:01:10.370

if you could give me your name. David Schoolyard. I served in the United States Marine Corps. 1973 76. And when did you join the service? I think 1972. I was 17.5. I had to wait until I was 18 to go in. But I joined a 17.5.

00:01:10.530 - 00:01:33.770

I was in a foster home at the time. Seems like I don't get good. So that was during the Vietnam War? Yes. Really nervous. No. You were excited. I was. I signed up. I had a guaranteed to go into marine aviation, which I did. I ended

00:01:33.770 - 00:01:59.720

up being a crew chief on CH 46. Helicopter. They're big tandems. They look like army. Chinook's loud smelling good languishing. What area of the world did you serve him? I served the around them piss. Tennessee. There was a naval aviation school. Then Orange County's Santa Ana

00:01:59.720 - 00:02:25.880

area in California and then west back mostly Okinawa, Japan. Philippines. Did you see any action? Not war? No. I saw a lot of action because there was other than war because I was signed Search and rescue mission. So no war time. But what a rescue. So

00:02:25.890 - 00:02:43.840

I assume you made a lot of friends. That was the nice thing about Marine Corps. I met people from all over the country, which I would not otherwise, how did you know opportunity to do? Because, Well, mostly, we meet people locally. The money to travel, that's

00:02:43.840 - 00:03:05.250

what happens. Stay local. So Marine Corps was a great opportunity to meet people from places I never even thought like rats come and soda states that I know are here but don't often think even think about it. Do you still keep in touch with anyone? I

00:03:05.250 - 00:03:30.510

have until recently, but not in the last few years, although that's I know now are through that connect here in Santa Rosa. My other friends moved back. East Coast, Texas, Minnesota. Make this first after service. What was your greatest learning experience of being in the Marines?

00:03:35.570 - 00:04:02.400

Make good friends and that you can trust because in times of danger and well, that's really hold. You can depend on yes, good friends. San Diego boot camp. Yes, when I went to boot camp, we had 100 days of training, so we would start with T

00:04:02.770 - 00:04:19.790

100 then T one was graduation day. But throughout that we had to go through a rifle range, a lot of training, and it involved. A lot of equipment in San Diego is not the best place because there's an airport. So when we're marching around and they

00:04:19.790 - 00:04:41.530

get commands, oftentimes we can't hear the command. But they still haven't taken. Imagine platoon marching and having to listen to the drill instructor and then in plain goes. And if you don't hear the command, hopefully do kind of disintegrates because some people here one thing. Some

00:04:41.530 - 00:05:00.680

people here, another thing. Some commands are two wards somewhere one. So if you have a to work commander here, the 1st 1 somebody else here is the 2nd 1 breaking. Did you think anything? But when those planes would buy? No, What I thought for the most

00:05:00.680 - 00:05:21.750

part was that a lot of stuff that's being thrown at me both in training and education was basically a test, a challenge, and so long as I can insulate and not having completely get to me, I would leave intact and of the brainwashed, but have sown

00:05:22.230 - 00:05:39.740

reasonably good trading because one of the problems we're being in the military. One gets. We don't use the term brain or much. Basically, we get retrained and change how we think so well, that is important to some degree. It's also important to be oneself, not get

00:05:39.850 - 00:06:02.920

washed out completely yelled at names, derogatory names. But it's all really part of a test putting people pushing people to an extreme to see how they will react, toughen him up to on just kind of make a little more 30 person than the one who came

00:06:02.920 - 00:06:20.590

out both physically and mentally. Physically, they break us down. Those who started boot camp, who were not in shape morning for a big surprise because they were running with push ups, sit ups, a lot of exercise. So basically the broker muscles now and the slowly building

00:06:20.600 - 00:06:35.950

back up to the point where we could sit on the ground, grab a rope and climb up with her legs sticking straight out. That's how will they build us up from, and mentally the same thing. You would call us some really derogatory names throughout the boot

00:06:35.950 - 00:06:57.150

camp, but I think and of course, we're always recruits. But Theo graduation we were Maureen, so it kind of brought us back to to stop. You must have been a proud feeling for you. The day graduated. It was he was an accomplishment. Most of my platoon

00:06:57.430 - 00:07:21.330

graduated with me. A lot of people didn't make it because it off medical issues or so mental issues where they just couldn't handle it. Where was your first duties to go? After the camp, I got sent to Millington, Tennessee, just outside of Memphis. There was a

00:07:21.330 - 00:07:44.540

naval here, academy or school. I think the initial training was maybe six months. And then we're do after that. And then after that, I went back to I came back to California. I scored well in my class and I had a choice to go into presidential

00:07:44.550 - 00:08:01.750

airplane. I had a choice of duty, but because I was not a citizen and I had some family in the communist country, because back then we still have a Cold War going. I was her risk. So the instead said, Well, picky stations. But it won't be

00:08:01.750 - 00:08:22.040

presidential, so I chose California. Our West coast becomes, like lived here for a couple years. What nationality are you? I am from a country that no longer exists. Yugoslavia. He had broke up in tow for five different countries. But the part I'm from his call curation.

00:08:23.450 - 00:08:47.010

It's just across from Italy and Dalmation Coast, kind of north of Albania and Greece. Howard's Italy. It's on the same latitude of California. So to me it was kind of great because I just made a lateral move. I had to learn English under than Daddy was

00:08:47.020 - 00:09:04.710

great. Kind of the same. Do you still speak your native language? Can you say something to me in it? Cock asi that basically means How are you? I still speak my native language with my father, who lives in Northridge, California. He is the only creation I

00:09:04.710 - 00:09:23.400

know only when I speak the language and most of my other family is still back in Europe. Most of my well, my mother, uncles Most of the older people are dead, so I sort of stay in touch with the younger people. What? I don't know them

00:09:23.410 - 00:09:46.900

because I've never been back. You've never been back? Are you know, like I could go back now that communism's over? Um, we'll even backed in. You know, our country was not alignment the Russian eastern bloc. Tito aligned us with United States. We have a lot of

00:09:46.900 - 00:10:05.440

stuff from the night state movies, all kinds of stuff. And then when I came here, I noticed there were imports from Yugoslavia because theater got scared. After he saw Stellin in, they chilled Slovakia and Hungary. So I tried to distance himself, which was kind of nice,

00:10:05.440 - 00:10:24.650

because we had almost like here. We had a lot of small businesses we had. The government was not as nasty and idealistic of of the Russians. So I've never been back, even though I could go. And after serving in the Marine Corps, I got my citizenship

00:10:25.790 - 00:10:37.360

and I didn't even have to take the test. The guy just took me into the room and said, How many senators in the United States Senate before I could answer? He said, 100. He said, You got that one right. And he said, How many states in

00:10:37.360 - 00:10:56.440

the United States is a 50 small? You got both of them. Once he knew that I serve honorably, said You're good to go. That was good. Well, that's a really interesting story. Does the people No, you're from another country to kind of blend in. You know,

00:10:56.670 - 00:11:12.820

some people don't. Some people can hear the accent. Some people don't. Some people think I'm from the East Coast telling, Yeah, I'm from East the further East, So it varies. People have different sense of hearing. So some people pick out accents really easy. And you know

00:11:12.820 - 00:11:36.170

the location. Other people are kind of oblivious. I served in Japan. I went Tonto non commissioned Officer school in Japan. I served in Okinawa in a helicopter squadron on a team a base helicopter base, and I served in the Philippines. And there are longer Po Civic

00:11:36.170 - 00:12:01.330

Bay back in 70 five or six. The 13 month tour overseas back then, and the war had ended in Vietnam with the war has not ended in Cambodia and Laos. A lot of people are even unaware that we were in Laos and Cambodia, which certainly should

00:12:01.340 - 00:12:21.370

not have been which we found out later. No, I wonder if broken now has changed. Did you notice any changes when you were there from you probably haven't been there now, but did you see changes when you were there? I am. Well, there were some historical

00:12:21.370 - 00:12:42.870

places I've visited, like the place of the surrender with the Japanese general. You didn't hear and carry instead of surrender, and a lot of truth jumped off the cliff instead of surrendering. Because they have a warrior culture, there is no surrender. It's not a choice. So

00:12:42.870 - 00:13:05.810

that's and Okinawa is full of capes. It's great great for exploring the Okinawa. A lot of caves we could explore, But the main attraction in Okinawa was mostly, um, well bars and restaurants. Beer was cheap. It was good. He was called the Orient that part of

00:13:05.810 - 00:13:25.670

the Orient. It's hot, humid, most of it, and also a lot of typhoons happened. And also the ocean is nice and clear. Our side of the Pacific is going green and murky over there. It's Christmas, so that was count. But there isn't a lot to do

00:13:25.670 - 00:13:42.580

other than bar hopping. Well, when we didn't work, we're basically done. But at work, I mean, when we didn't fly, if we just had a regular workday, we had to show up at 7 30 in the morning and we were done by five and come back

00:13:42.740 - 00:14:00.820

and then we have weekends up. It was like having a in many ways, that's airport into the air. Court grants and other people do it differently. But that's how we did it. I was able to live in an apartment in Okinawa. Same when I was in

00:14:00.820 - 00:14:20.900

Santa Ana, because our jobs were like that when I had to fly it to three in the morning and preflight an airplane, which thinks couple hours, that part, whatever I gotta sign. But when he didn't fly, uh, it was like a regular job. Yeah, I heard

00:14:20.900 - 00:14:41.410

there was a lot of resentment against the Americans. Yes, there still was in Japan, especially Okinawa. Okinawans also don't like to be called Japanese, so those of us who make the mistake get the double this like and a lot of the, you know, a lot of

00:14:41.410 - 00:14:58.350

rain there. And I would sometimes be walking down the streets of Okinawa, and some of the older guys, maybe in their sixties, were crouching down. There's a specific way that Oriental men set even on the street. They're not really sitting there crouching on on their heels,

00:14:59.140 - 00:15:16.210

and that's a social thing. And they're basically around stores and Americans staying around and talk they kind of sit and talk and I would always hear this one remark which almost became like an echo. It would be pouring rain and they would say something like, I

00:15:16.210 - 00:15:34.540

want you Mighty Americans make it stop raining comments to each other but meant for us so but older than that I didn't really run into and great deal of her sentence. A lot of younger people were really hip and like in there because of the culture,

00:15:34.660 - 00:15:52.460

the music. So we had that you know, that the two sides of more canal into people who like this people, who and of course, all the people who ran the bars and did that kind of stuff a restaurant. They liked us because we always came and

00:15:52.470 - 00:16:10.470

spend money. You always win as a group. Normally, it would go 345 people and usually go to same places because we got to know the bartenders. We got to know people. I used to go to a place called Blue Moon Saloons. You know, canal. It was

00:16:10.470 - 00:16:32.610

run by nine sisters and they were named just like that. Number one. Number two. My girlfriend was Hachi number eight. So That's how people that they found the place that we're comfortable with, and that's where they would go on and spend time. Since then, the United

00:16:32.610 - 00:16:52.510

States has given Okinawa back to Japan. So now people drive on the left hand side. Is that all right? Fine. And I understand that the police there now armed or back then they were unarmed. I never really like the opposite off most police Iran into in

00:16:52.520 - 00:17:13.260

California. Never. Nice, polite. And, uh, one time they did arrest one of our friends What they did with the tightest hands in front with a rope about eight feet long. And they pulled into the police station where he promised to pay for the mirror. Daddy broke.

00:17:13.270 - 00:17:31.810

Then they let him come once he made the promise. That's how they police. I'm sort of changed by now, but it was kind of a different world. Different setting. Did you feel like since you were from another country, you could relate to somebody in another country

00:17:31.820 - 00:17:49.910

instead of just being American? Never left the city. Yes. And you know, that made a big difference oftentimes because a lot of people realized that, you know, I spoken which, differently than most Americans, they realized that wasn't in America but also saved me in the Marine

00:17:49.910 - 00:18:08.380

Corps itself. Because Marine Corps, even back then, a lot of racial issues there were people from all over the place put together, even though they went through boot camp. They got indoctrinated into Marine Corps and Marine core values. People retained some of their individual issues. And

00:18:09.380 - 00:18:26.830

so, for example, I had a friend called Morale is usually called each other by our last names in the military, and one day we went into an old settle barracks, and there were people in the far end there called themselves La Raza, which is, I think,

00:18:26.840 - 00:18:43.500

Hispanic Mexican, kind of not necessarily gang but political affiliation. And I'm walking down the center with him and always suddenly threw his arms up in the jailing. S a no gringo as they no gringo. He was telling them that I'm not American because they would have

00:18:43.510 - 00:19:01.210

beaten me up. Even Americans showed up in their Barrett. That was the attitude. That's how bad things got, racially. Not every place, but now there were Well, there are crappy people everywhere. Is there anything else you'd like to say, Well, one thing I do want to

00:19:01.210 - 00:19:15.920

think that after Marine Corps I used the military has G I benefits, and a lot of people can take advantage of those. I use my g i benefits. I went to U C L. A. And got a degree, and then I went to law school in

00:19:15.920 - 00:19:40.440

San Francisco and got a law degree with the G I benefits. So So it really helped me because otherwise I could not aboard Count. And I just recently found out that California now passed a new law that veterans reference Children can go to. Either you see,

00:19:40.790 - 00:19:58.520

or state colleges Jaycee's, uh, tuition free. But suddenly, kids to college, they want to go. And it's great because it's good to have an opportunity if they don't want to. That's their choice. But it's good to have. I am the corporate counsel for that connect here,

00:19:58.950 - 00:20:19.950

and I spent lot Italian trying to help. That's who need help if I can. No, no, no charge. My name is Anthony. Last name is Tate TT, United States Army, 82nd Airborne Division, Born and raised in Chicago, Illinois, one of the many states that lost quite

00:20:19.950 - 00:20:44.300

a few U. S. Army soldiers in Vietnam. California being number one. So you were in Vietnam? Yes, ma'am. Combat soldier drove tractors, gas, tractor, trailer help through the bush. There was a lot of things that go into Vietnam as a personnel specialist with a back in

00:20:44.300 - 00:21:02.910

the day. A typewriter was the tool that I was so used of using but five. Expert in M 16 and 14 doing basic in the training. And when I got to Vietnam, I was surprised because I expected a typewriter and do what I did here states

00:21:02.910 - 00:21:17.740

that. But that wasn't a true story. I found out some of the reasons why I was truly there was to be able to survive. For that left the time that I was there to return home. And that was the instructions that was given to me. And

00:21:17.740 - 00:21:44.850

that was it. How old were you? Give me a turn. 18. It's enjoying right at 18. Uh, No. 17. Did you have to get your parent's permission for that? That's another story within itself. Yes, I did. I had to get my parents permission, which they was

00:21:44.860 - 00:22:02.680

not to happy about at all. No, there wasn't a thing about Vietnam at the time. It was the thing that they didn't want me to go into the service. My father was in the service and he was in the Army Air Force at that particular time

00:22:02.870 - 00:22:22.590

when he said, but and and you so right, Vietnam was a big thing. The guys I grew up in the projects of Chicago, Illinois, call out of the wells and life expectancy. Back then was 13 you, sir, past the age of 13. You might live a

00:22:22.590 - 00:22:37.290

long, fruitful life. Or, you know, you might get caught up between the summers and what they used to do with my neighborhood. On the Fourth of July, they were posted lists of names of individuals who, for lack of a better term, be terminated. That particular summer

00:22:37.740 - 00:22:58.790

on happened in 1969. My name came up on that list, and so I don't know it. Just about Palla graded in myself. July 2nd, 1969. I went down to take a physical at the recruiting station on Canal Street at four o'clock in the morning, and the

00:22:58.790 - 00:23:17.200

next time I seen Daylight Waas July 3rd, when I was placed on the plane going to full Polk, Louisiana, for basic training, and they had modeled as we trained soldiers for Vietnam. So of course I'm being from the city and, you know, gang warfare and all

00:23:17.200 - 00:23:32.700

this stuff was nothing new. I said not make So I went through basic and a I t. There eight weeks each time. And then they start sending guys to Vietnam from my unit. I said, Well, what other way can I get kind of, you know, get

00:23:32.700 - 00:23:49.920

around this jump school. OK, so what is the pain? Because at that time, I was making I think if I remember correctly about $90 a month and jump a was an extra 50 of $45 or so a month and you got combat pay and jump a

00:23:49.920 - 00:24:03.290

for over when I went to know. But that was extra money. So I went to jump school. When I got out of jump school, it was stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, with my job with send people to Vietnam, I step your tool one file, send

00:24:03.290 - 00:24:18.140

it down the hall off the Vietnam you got. Your orders were cut and you went to Vietnam. So they asked for a group of qualified pair troopers, and I was next to the last one on that list, and that's what I'll begin. So were you a

00:24:18.140 - 00:24:34.920

little worried about going to be a non being a pair troop of being jumping here and that? No, I really wasn't because I took Vietnam as a almost like walking on the moon, you know? Is it really riel? I seen people come back in my neighborhood

00:24:34.920 - 00:24:48.170

and they seem to be very lost. And but they were Marines. And there's one of things that I didn't want to be is a Marine because I've seen the evidence of what happened to the guys that I grew up looking up to because I was a

00:24:48.170 - 00:25:01.240

shorty and they were older and looking up to them, and they come back that that's the same individual it all. And I could not understand that what was going on with that, So I didn't want to do that. When I got to Vietnam, I landed in

00:25:01.240 - 00:25:20.720

Cam Ron Baker. Beautiful, beautiful day. He little people running around with little hats on the head, I'm thinking, is all the drill. You know, this ain't really till nightfall. Okay? On the truth was revealed, and I knew that I was in a location where it was

00:25:22.160 - 00:25:37.660

I had to survive. And that was the term that, as I indicated earlier, that was a term Give it to me. Survive for the left, the time that you hear and you can go home. So by any means necessary. And that's what I did telling me

00:25:37.660 - 00:25:55.370

there believe you overdone. But if I had look, I think a little bit nine months, 10 months, maybe 11 somewhere around. And then I just know I got orders to go whole with time came one of the things and I don't know if this is proper

00:25:55.370 - 00:26:10.270

for business. One of the things that got a chance to see what I was in Nam is my other brothers, you know, way all band of brothers. But my other brothers were getting discharged from Nam three months early. So they come home to get a job.

00:26:11.040 - 00:26:35.730

I get this. You just think about it. My whole tour. When I left Vietnam June 22nd 1971 landed at for Lewis, Washington June 23rd 22nd 1971 was put on the plane to Chicago, Illinois, June 23rd 1971. That was it. There was nothing in between. I had

00:26:36.040 - 00:26:49.680

no debriefing. All I was told, you got straight. Stay straight. Stay out of trouble for 72 hours. So that means don't get in no trouble while you because we will rescue and send you back to jail, send you back to Vietnam. I wasn't going back to

00:26:49.680 - 00:27:16.730

Vietnam. So them 72 hours last a whole long time for May. And But I was taken out of a combat zone, killing all kinds of things that was going on and then placed back in society without any college today debriefing or any help given, you know,

00:27:16.740 - 00:27:33.460

here you need to sit down to talk to this person before you hit the streets of this world. Because racism was steel up here in the seventies when I got home. And it was one of the things that got that was still a problem. When I

00:27:33.460 - 00:27:52.950

landed in Chicago, this guy's 60 about 62.8 cowboy boots, hat the boat, tied type things and he looked down to me and say, Hey, boy, I'm standing in uniform and I just left Vietnam fighting for what was going on. So it had not changed at all.

00:27:53.440 - 00:28:09.750

And with the propaganda that was going on in Vietnam, it exact same times that I was there and they tell us, they told her, Why are you fighting this war? This is the white man's war. This is not your war. Look how they treat you in

00:28:09.750 - 00:28:24.190

America. Why would you want to do this type of fame? It may sense, but the thing that held on this is where I was born. This is where I was raised, and this is where I fight to stay for and that was a lot of my

00:28:24.190 - 00:28:41.670

attitude. Now quite a few didn't come back, you know, because they knew how he was treated in America. So they stayed overseas. And today we call them in my eyes by there's quite a few. This can't come back it now, you know. But they chose not

00:28:41.670 - 00:28:56.760

to come back to America because of what was really going on here and how we were treated overseas with entirely different that how we were treated here in America. But this was my home on. This is where I wanted to come back to because there's no

00:28:56.760 - 00:29:08.810

place like America. I mean, every place else you have to show idea. America might be getting that way, too. But every place you had to go anyplace over that, they always checking your idea and want to know where you're from, what you're doing. They always under

00:29:08.810 - 00:29:28.710

suspicion. Here, you're just another number statistic, and you're just going about your business long as you keep doing what you're supposed to be doing. Hunting up in Santa Rosa. Good story from the East Coast. And this goes all way back to the seventies when when I

00:29:28.710 - 00:29:51.550

came back here, I was a kid with loss. I had no direction and no purpose, no nothing. All I was doing, it's just existing and things that became, I think was calling Norm for me because I lived it so long. Um and how I was feeling

00:29:51.560 - 00:30:08.210

I could not associate that wonder what was going on. So the best place I found to escape within drugs and I lived in that world and everything was fine. I was a functioning how hot I was a functioning addict. When the reason why I say that

00:30:08.210 - 00:30:29.050

because I was working everyday tender school, got my high sky, got associate degree, I got a bachelor's degree. Then I got a master's degree. Still, while out there under the influence of that substance, because that was my safety zone. That was my box. That was where

00:30:29.050 - 00:30:44.590

I felt so comfortable when the world I knew everything still existed out there in the world. But this process for me has been a very long one, and it's only been in the recovery process for me for the last five years, and that five years is

00:30:44.590 - 00:31:01.380

when I traveled from the East Coast to San Francisco, California, where I had a relative I hadn't seen in 30 years, and you know, that type of thing and it's still that kind of distance thing. But, uh, he was in the service to, uh but and

00:31:01.380 - 00:31:20.310

I and I see why our separation is the way it is because we both hey went to Germany did in Vietnam, and I just went straight to Vietnam. And so from that point my process began because it couldn't hide anymore. One day I tried to escape

00:31:20.310 - 00:31:40.320

to the V A t o get some help because my substance was just way out of whack and it said no. I said, What would you be? No, it's that don't we have no beds. I have nothing available at this moment. You're gonna have to wait.

00:31:40.330 - 00:31:56.320

And I like Oh, wait a minute. Hold on. What you mean wait, woman. So with it when it is that my wallet's failed down had no place to hide. So at that point, I made a I made a choice. I said, That's it. I'm done. Uh,

00:31:56.790 - 00:32:14.650

will my life change? And I left San Francisco and got a break because San Francisco has too much chatter form a little Saigon area. Everybody go about their normal routine and get on the bus and they'll be talking to each other, Not that paranoid, that think

00:32:14.650 - 00:32:30.240

they're talking about me. But I go back to healing the chatter, and it was best for me to move from San Physical. Now I could go back because I released a lot of stuff like substance. I let that go, and I came here and I asked

00:32:30.240 - 00:32:50.600

for help. And through my chapter, Vietnam Veterans of America, Chapter 2 to 3. The doors open through Vet Connect. The program is going over there. Madore start opening. I was the furniture program for them at one time, helping veterans when they come off the street and

00:32:50.710 - 00:33:04.200

they get in a promise through Hud. Vash. I went through that process, too, and I'll tell you about that. But when they come off the street and I get the hood, Vash they get an apartment. Apartment is empty. So it is just like still on the

00:33:04.200 - 00:33:18.530

street, but just got a place, a key but empty place. Your solitude is not their self esteem is not all the way built. So what idea was and setting up this program, the program's existence, that what I did in this program is roasting policy and procedure.

00:33:18.530 - 00:33:30.300

So what a young man would do or young lady when it come in there, come and take them down to the warehouse. After we do an assessment taking down a warehouse and they choose the items in which they want because they know what the house looked

00:33:30.300 - 00:33:45.130

like. They know this couch matched the decor. These dishes, they like this table. They like this stereo, this TV, this refrigerator if you need a microwave or whatever. And after they select all these item, we load up on the truck and we take it to the

00:33:45.130 - 00:33:59.880

house. And then when they get off the truck and say, I need this set right here this put over here. And when we done the houses complete, just like this room is complete, the bad is their furniture's there. Everything is set up, and now this person

00:33:59.880 - 00:34:14.550

now walks into a house and opens it up, and that's all there is. And it's not just an empty room that they're going into. I went through the same process, come off the street, homeless from San Francisco, came appear into a program of her own house,

00:34:15.200 - 00:34:40.030

finished completed that programme, graduated from there and went to their second dairy program. Call the broker house and from their transition into the HUD vast program, which I got a little single apartment. And once the my healing process got better and move, the long I released

00:34:40.040 - 00:34:56.640

my Hud Vash and gave it back to the next veteran because now today I could be able to afford my own apartment have a little house running three bedroom deck put. I mean, and I try to open it up to veterans that may need assistance to.

00:34:56.650 - 00:35:12.650

This is my plan on that end, but the process begins and ends with May, and through this I've learned that I did not have to live that way. And it was all about choice. And I knew that there was my way of choosing to live. But

00:35:12.650 - 00:35:31.330

one thing I didn't know is that my way of thinking and my behavior was not the way of life. It was my learned behavior that has kept me safe since 1969 when I went into the service all the way up to 2010. That whole window waas

00:35:31.420 - 00:35:47.230

the exact same thing. So I knew anything different until I came here to see Normal County, where they showed me how a veteran should be helped and treated. They stand in a straight line here. Individuals like yourself and others who are really concerned about what what

00:35:47.230 - 00:36:04.140

has happened to us and how we cannot let that happen to the next set of veterans. And that's one of the pushes that we're doing in our organization in the very Vietnam Veterans of America. Chapter 2 to 3 is the toxic waste, the toxic exposure bill

00:36:04.550 - 00:36:19.850

that's in the house and the Senate that's helping our Children. Because Children has gotten effect of what has happened with us. When you're talking about the chatter you heard in Little Saigon in San Francisco, they remind you of Vietnam. What kind of bug You? Yes, ma'am.

00:36:21.390 - 00:36:37.280

And I have one incident because I do walk. I walk everywhere because of my behavior, my license we lost. So you know that passport. But all that second cab now taking care of that, they got their money, and it's in the process of coming to me

00:36:37.280 - 00:36:57.560

now. So all these things have healed themselves. But going back to that was the incident that I was going through that area now and I heard a chopper on this side on. Then everybody here just all of a sudden just stop and they went into the

00:36:57.560 - 00:37:09.950

language. They were going fast, and I could hit this chopper. I backed up against the wall, and I just wonder I didn't hat and a guy said, Why would you hold in your hand? like this man, Andi, I didn't know I had it even did that

00:37:09.930 - 00:37:24.700

back to baseball and held my hand like this. And I was looking like this. It So I know I look strange. Everybody on the street and I knew then that it's not on them. It's something I have to deal with. And since that time I made

00:37:24.700 - 00:37:42.090

a promise to myself three years ago, pretty much, yes, have been 34 years, four years that I would not go to San Francisco about myself. I couldn't go to San Francisco by myself because if I went to San Francisco about myself, I will give myself the

00:37:42.090 - 00:38:01.990

excuse of what was happening around me to go and try toe get myself in that other world. And I said, Forget that I'm not gonna loud nobody or nothing to take me out. And I made that promise when I got the Vietnam on found how to

00:38:01.990 - 00:38:18.410

survive, I found the tools that I needed to do to survive, and we kept getting word back that guys were dying coming back here, and I made a promise. I didn't feel that I'm not gonna come here and they're gonna take me out like that. Not

00:38:18.410 - 00:38:39.720

after I make it through this happening. So I do everything that can precautionary measures. I still do perimeter checks at my house. I still have my service dog. Do they walk through? Still have the some of my old behaviors that, um it's just I guess I

00:38:39.720 - 00:38:52.720

don't have all the old thinking, but I do have some of the old behaviors Still check my perimeter. I still sit. The court held glad this chair was this come because I just out of, you know, I look out the window head, That is somebody go

00:38:52.720 - 00:39:11.090

buy some go by. I still got those types of things that happens. But, you know, I call him a natural defense that I just said like that. I don't, um, go from 0 to 100 anger. Like I used to know there's accelerator still there, you know?

00:39:11.090 - 00:39:28.420

But I work real hard and consciously that no issue requires me to get angry because who's losing it? I am not anybody else. And if they anger that so now you've got to carry that. But I don't have to carry it, so I have to really

00:39:28.420 - 00:39:42.090

work with myself and talk to myself and continue to keep these things right here. Because I used to say I got to keep things in front of me. But I kept him like this so I could look right past him. But when I turned him like

00:39:42.090 - 00:39:55.180

this, this is what I see. So that's I have to work things now. I have to keep him just like this. Not like this could see I could rationalise justify like this. I still see you like this night have gone, so I know you're there. But

00:39:55.180 - 00:40:08.890

I know that there's something to stop me from going over to the other side. And that is what do you What is your What is your goal? What are you trying to accomplish? So do you think these are some of the things you learned from the

00:40:08.890 - 00:40:30.830

army? You know this. Watch the perimeter. Look out the window with these things that you picked up when you were there. Just just hold overs. Some people call it be a completely paid off. No, it's I think it has a lot to do with Yeah, I

00:40:30.840 - 00:40:51.490

definitely definitely get it deeply instilled as a part of a natural tool for me from the service. When way all stay on God. We always should. Everybody should always know what's around it. So that was the natural part. But the army has enhanced it for me

00:40:51.740 - 00:41:12.590

that I know if you walked across my dirt outside my fence you know that because I could see with stuff changed, that's on. That didn't come from the projects that came from the that you you know what has came through? Someone's has tampered with and you

00:41:12.590 - 00:41:27.010

know how to set little things. Like, you know, I could set that door or that door and know if somebody came through that door any time when I'm not at home or not. They're those types of things, but I kind of slowed down on that where

00:41:27.010 - 00:41:45.660

I'm at now. But when I was in apartment building Oh, yeah, because I didn't have full control over that, Uh, because other people maintenance people housing people. All these people had keys, so I didn't have control when I met. Only my landlord has keys, but they're

00:41:45.660 - 00:41:59.970

not gonna come by my dogs because my dollars a cool with you if I'm around You know I'm not around. They say you're tryingto invade our space, and that's that's what we That's how we get fair. Our job is to and on. And that's what I

00:41:59.970 - 00:42:26.270

tell him every morning. You on your duty, your duty, you know, so everybody. Everything still has a function. And my most relaxing portion is by fish. I have to fish tanks and my dogs backs, which is my Jack Russell and Chihuahua mix. Hey has taught me

00:42:27.270 - 00:42:46.930

that's why he views my first service dog. He has told me patients on understanding because they have an aggressiveness about them. But they also have, uh, there could be regressed real easy to get scared. So I had to be able to learn how to balance that

00:42:47.280 - 00:43:00.610

with helping them understand. This is what I need you to do. Okay? That's what you want to do. If these two don't match, it don't happen. So I had to learn how to be able to balance that. Okay. All right. You win. Go here. Type of

00:43:00.610 - 00:43:17.360

thing. As opposed to not Did not tell you type of thing. You know, that type of thing. So he's told me compassion. He's telling me so much. And when I go into could be watching a commercial on TV program on TV, same program. I watched several

00:43:17.360 - 00:43:32.440

1000 times and then always said in a whole different emotional state calm my emotions drop and tear over my eyes or whatever he will come from wherever he is, jump up in my lap and look me up in the face and this is what I hear

00:43:32.440 - 00:43:47.730

him say. It's gonna be OK. They live here right here and he said, It's gonna be OK, so that helps me process. Because isolation is the worst thing in the world for May, for anyone, actually. But I could only talk about me and thats why stay

00:43:47.730 - 00:44:08.880

so active with them? You know, on ladies, use a rescue. She's a rescue dog. I just got her maybe about too much. Three months ago from from the Humane Society rescued her. She is a bull master Chaerea. The other name is people. I have always thought

00:44:08.880 - 00:44:27.290

that it, but I rescued her to be able to help in the next part of the process because she reminds me that I'm only one step away from, you know, like we say we want one paycheck away from being homeless. Well, I'm only one step away

00:44:27.290 - 00:44:43.730

from being right back out there. So each day I say thank you. People say, Never say never, but you're never going to do I use the word never. Like for example, I will never, ever use drugs again today, and that's all I base it on is

00:44:43.730 - 00:45:00.420

today. I don't base it on tomorrow because it never comes. I can't change yesterday, So I say today I will never, ever use drugs. Allow myself to let someone else control my emotions on my feelings today. So as long as I keep both feet planted into

00:45:00.430 - 00:45:14.560

today, I do Well, I do real well. I could function, I could go out and I could socialize. And if you didn't know I was a Vietnam vet, you wouldn't You would not assume that I had all these other PTSD. Would that mean type of thing?

00:45:14.770 - 00:45:32.480

So it's a way that as I grow with it, I've seen guys around me, how far they have really expand with their growth in it, and they've been in before, years and years, and I'm the new kid and I say that every time I when we

00:45:32.480 - 00:45:49.660

be out doing fundraising for veterans, veterans and their families has Sonoma County. The thing is, I'm saying I'm the baby of this group. You know, I'm the baby of this because I am. They have been doing this for years, and to me it's all like I

00:45:49.670 - 00:46:05.320

be. You could really live like this. I could really do these types of things. It's like, you know, a whole new world. I'm like a little child and that's when I am. I'm growing them because I didn't have a teenage like It doesn't I didn't have

00:46:05.320 - 00:46:27.590

the twenties because I was lost. I mean, I was out there, but I didn't know I was there, and I couldn't maintain that. I want a lot of relationships a lot based upon my behavior, not theirs. My stupidity that drove them to do. Whatever happened, I

00:46:27.590 - 00:46:49.150

did that. And today I accept that responsibility. And just like with my Children, Oh, God is so fabulous that after 15 years I hadn't seen my son 15 years on all five of my grandkids had seen them. 12 1 Turn 11 just turned 11. He's the

00:46:49.150 - 00:47:00.490

eldest on this side of it, but is one of one a little bit older him when you go to him. But I got a chance to see all of them to do due to the process of our national convention and spring for a little know it.

00:47:01.740 - 00:47:16.300

His his wife. I was called up to Springfield to do some training at a hotel, trained a whole new staff over there, now, offered a position. She took it. By the way, eso this all came together right there. So and his mama said, I don't you

00:47:16.310 - 00:47:30.520

be who you are because she know if you come to me with an attitude, you know I don't care. I don't go, you know is I'm fine with it. Out of sight, out of mind. But when he walked across the lobby and he had that smile

00:47:30.520 - 00:47:44.720

on his face, it's just like, you know, we have been seeing each other for all this time, and it's spending is really been an enlightment. And I want this documentary to say this. I don't know what got planned for May, you know, by having all these

00:47:44.720 - 00:48:02.340

ends come together. But I truly appreciate understanding today, just all over this coming what family really means because I come from a full family mother, father, five boys and one girl totaled eight of us in the household. But I was by myself when I was growing

00:48:02.340 - 00:48:23.000

up because I wasn't like them, that group over there just to watch them comma popcorn homemade while I was being disciplined on this because I'm the oldest on the other side. But those things all had a process of being able to allow me to be who

00:48:23.000 - 00:48:44.870

I end up being today on. As I said earlier, I work off six piece prime. Proper planning prevents poor performance. And that's how I get up in the morning. And once I've been blessed with that director, breathe No, I'm breathing because one sleep. I don't know.

00:48:44.870 - 00:49:02.550

I'm doing it. I say thank you because I am one of the chosen ones to be woke up this morning because somebody else, quite a few people didn't get chosen to be woke up for whatever people you know, whatever that belief is. But that's just my

00:49:02.550 - 00:49:21.510

personal. And then I know that I can control after I wake up what happens in my house when I come outside of my gate. The world is like this, so I just Rydell they want to come back in my house. I control that these the only

00:49:21.510 - 00:49:36.380

two things I know control the rest of it. I just have to you know, Bob, we've here miss out here, you know, you know, live that portion of the life. So I get better each day with no one controls my emotions on my feelings with me

00:49:37.070 - 00:49:55.810

Nobody. And if I allow you or anybody else control that and you're not paying, don't complain complain about but prior proper planning prevents poor performance. I'm starting to really understand all the things I used to teach. I could help everybody else in the world. I have

00:49:55.810 - 00:50:13.590

been so successful and helping people grow and do things and stopping everything. But I was bold words, counselor, because at the end of the day, you did a good job. Let's go celebrate that type of thing. But today is not that way. And I'm so quit

00:50:13.590 - 00:50:28.590

smoking cigarettes to in the course of that time that say thank you for that every day. And that's another thing. No matter how much pressure out here comes on me, and it's everyday pressures there every day. Them two things will never come back in my life.

00:50:28.590 - 00:50:42.700

Cigarettes and drugs, just not just not apart off. And that was a decision that I made because, like I said, the wall felt out like we're sitting in this room just like all of a sudden, everything failed. And it's just this right here and everybody looking

00:50:42.700 - 00:51:00.300

at you. I was exposed. So in a place that I had no more. No more box, you know, nowhere to go in and say no, I got deal with life on Lifetime. It took me 50 years to do that. You know, some people takes a little

00:51:00.300 - 00:51:15.100

bit longer. But, you know, at one time I thought I was going to die that way. One time I was happy like nobody knew who I was or where I waas because if I died, I would be no boat on anybody. And I've lived that way

00:51:15.380 - 00:51:45.540

for right. I lived that way for so long that it was just a natural. And today I know it's entirely different. His time, uh, go into the high schools and college colleges college here and we do talk about Vietnam. Talk about experience to college kids didn't

00:51:45.540 - 00:51:59.700

have a debate when we come back and judge the debate. But each time I get an opportunity to talk a little bit about me, it helps me just a little bit more because, like I said, if I don't keep it right here, I turn it and

00:51:59.700 - 00:52:18.840

I know I will. So I got to keep it up front. I got to keep it positive. I got to remember I can't help anybody else if I don't help myself. You know, everybody's saying my kids is number one. No, I'm number one because if I

00:52:19.120 - 00:52:36.000

if I don't take care of me, they don't leave no benefits. If I'm unhealthy, I can't help them if I'm in saying I can't help there. So I got to keep things on level kill where I continue to prosper as I move along because oh, I

00:52:36.000 - 00:52:53.720

am Paul Poona. Allow this excitement and I never think ever in my life. And I'm says, I ever think that I would ever hear trying on one of my grandkids giving me that name because it has such a conflict with my Children because at one time

00:52:53.720 - 00:53:14.680

they try to do an intervention, you know, type of thing. And what? Me? Come. All anyway, So I've traveled a road that I wish upon No one, but I only like to pass the knowledge on to. So when you come to that fork in the road,

00:53:15.600 - 00:53:31.390

um, don't don't choose to go right. Don't choose to go left. Keep straight. It's gonna be bumping because it's less walked. But what you're doing is making a little bit easier for the next person behind you when they get to that four, because one thing about

00:53:31.390 - 00:53:46.440

a fork in the road, it's gonna go off to an angle. But how long did it take you before it Times and go straight again. Eventually got to trying to go straight, whichever four Q tape. So why go this distance to go straight when you can

00:53:46.440 - 00:54:02.590

continue on a straight path? Fish ago. It's not gonna be easy. And I found that out. You know, I'm be knowing to me that it wasn't gonna be easy because all of it was a natural for me, my natural hustle, whatever I had to do, choose

00:54:02.590 - 00:54:20.830

live out here for over 20 years in the street by choice. You know that all these things, um uh, I didn't know was choices that I was truly making because I didn't have the knowledge that I could do better. I wasn't looking for the knowledge I

00:54:20.830 - 00:54:36.400

could do better because I was content, just like without the bill housing all homeless veterans by 2015 into this year on December 31st. It's not gonna happen because a lot of us didn't want to come off the street. And as a not that won't come out

00:54:36.410 - 00:54:53.270

the hills out out the woods or under the bridges. They safe there, they know what that is. They want to come in and have to confine to. Then they have to worry about other people. My thing with the 2015 and working in this program at one

00:54:53.270 - 00:55:12.930

time it was at least they know that the opportunity is there. Then they can say no. Then we have accomplished the goal of attempting to the house all homeless veteran, back 2015 giving them the opportunity to say yes or no for themselves. I got to remember

00:55:13.250 - 00:55:24.050

that you know, always must remain help. If I remain healthy, everything else try