Sonoma Sounds. Episode 2. Zoya Ahmed

um, just a little about my first poem. Um, this is kind of what started my poetry journey. I wrote it in sophomore year and I want a competition with it. So I thought befitting, you know, seeing as we're going to talk about my journey today to

start with it. So it's called a Concerto of spice. The subtle hint of spice, a symphony in the air, a crescendo of turmeric against mustard sharp notes, the melodious harmony of cardamom and cinnamon, wafting a waltz, the passion and tang of citrus as fluid as a

ballad flute, ginger as strong as a scrum of a base. The chris presence of mint, like the presence of my mother, the conductor of the ensemble. She taught me that the perfect hint of lemon grass orchestrates the soothing simplicity of balance. The heat of paprika, strong

as the heat of attraction. Tart zest of lemon as sharp as a power of speech, the crackle of dried peppers as loud as the laughter of my childhood. The smell mingles about now. I hear it, her presence dissolving the wind, her frail hands during the pot

and her voice commanding, soothing, echoing in the shadows of my mind. Her voice calling me into a simpler life. I smell it and in the silence silence, she dissolves into the air around me. Thank you. Very nice. Thank you, Zoya Achmed and welcome to Snowmass sounds.

Um, so there was a lot going on in that poem. There was family, there was food, there was music, uh, was what was the inspiration behind it. Um, so going back to that competition I wrote it for, it was poetry ourselves in 2019 and I think

the deadline was on a Friday. So I was just thinking like I was in the moment, right? Like I have to crunch before this deadline, let me just submit something. And um, I grew up in a Pakistani and indian household. So you know, we're really connected

to the kitchen with like you know all the matriarchs, it's like you learn through food, you know lee's life lessons and also, I, I don't know, I felt really connected to my mother at that point because I am not the strongest writer. I mean I am

a poet, but I never think of myself as like a writer um because you know english was my third language. It I struggled through, I still struggled through it. So I was thinking about what can I write about that I am truly an expert on and

that would be my family and my culture. So I thought the best I could write, my best ability in writing would be if I talked about that. So you know, I connected it and also ironically um during that day, because I just came back from school

are banned. Um Conductor Harry was going through, you know, our last concert, you know what, we can improve all these musical terms. So at that point I was just like connecting art and connecting like in the moment, what is happening um in my identity. So, you

know, like kind of connected and at that time I didn't know, you know, poetic terms or structure style. I was just writing what I did, but this year I took Ap literature and my teacher was like, you know, talk about, you know, connecting different senses, like

you can hear taste or you can play with sound. Um so I realized I did that my poem, but you know, even now, even though I wrote it myself, I'm still learning about everything that it means. Um so what were your first two languages if english

is your third? Um So I grew up speaking Urdu and hindi um for a person who knows Urdu and hindi that will be like they're the same language. Um but or do is kind of a little more has more Persian roots and Arabic roots, so it's

a little more poetic um and Hindi has its own beauty, you know? But the language, how it's written for those two languages completely different. Can you write them? That's why I not a lot. So were you born in Sonoma County or No. Um I was born

in Long Island new york. So we moved here I think when I was in first grade. Okay. Yeah. And what was that experience like? Oh that was a big experience, a big chain. Um I was really young so you know, I don't associate like the move

that that much, but you know, Long Island, it's a lot like Sonoma County in some ways and it's really different than Sonoma County in some ways. I mean, um growing up in Long Island, I lived in a joint family, so we were 26 you know, brown

people living in the same house, uh, for the longest time. All of my mom's extended family and the whole neighborhood was just, you know, very caucasian. There wasn't a single, like, I don't remember seeing a single person of color growing up. So when we went to

school and be like 10 kids going to school together with a very like not diverse population. So I didn't realize it at the time. Um, but that did have effect. I mean the emphasis was really on assimilation. Um, and that pressure didn't necessarily come from our

parents, but ourselves as well. It's just, you know, you don't realize what races or what cultural assimilation is but you're subconsciously going through it. But then in Sonoma County started learning these things and the beautiful thing about Sonoma County is it's very diverse. Um not as

diverse as the you know cultural hubs like new york city or san Francisco but it's still more diverse in Long Island and very very liberal. Um So you know it was it was really nice seeing people from you know similar backgrounds, similar cultures um and not

having the need to assimilate but surrounding yourself with people that you could relate to. Yeah. And did you start writing poetry or coming up with poetry? Whether or not it was written when you're in Long Island or did that come more recently? That came much more

recently? Um Like I said I wasn't exactly a writer and poetry itself is considered like when you think of english, it's like even people who know english poetry is hard for them. You know, thinking about colleges in bad high school. So I didn't really attempt it.

I mean you know, I grew up reading Dr Seuss and like I knew rhyming but I never thought of myself like I could write poetry um but I think growing up here like really maturing into a young adult and you know, talking with my parents, I

think that's the thing with immigrant Children to its um your your parents kind of there's a barrier, there's a cultural barrier, locational barrier. Um a lot of generational gap. So it's not until you're much older that you kind of get these nuggets information from your parents

and you learn more about them. So when I start seeing my dad went on like when I was older he's talked about your do and like the poetic element of it because poetry is very prevalent in Pakistan and India. Um great great poets. Um and even

in the independence of the countries, you know poets were involved. So we started talking about that and I realized how big a role poetry played in my life even if it was an english poetry. So when I grew up to like you know see these opportunities

in high school like the poetry out loud competition, I realized that there's there's a balance like I have that unique perspective that I can you know have that balance of english poetry with my cultural, my culture and like you know Pakistani poetry and all that. Mhm.

Well how about another poem then? Of course of course. Um So my next poem I wrote it recently actually for Earth Day Reading. Um and I think it's really relevant. It's about the Middle East and I think with everything going on, you know, I think it's

very relevant but it's also on our relationship with nature. Um So they'll be references in there, but it's called the real cost of oil. Mm hmm. one word dances on tongue fail. Oil dance with the words. Her fingers dance with the blood of mothers danced through

my scalp through my dark bundles of not strands woven with this dance of oil. As if it were a passage of motherhood. Every mother dances this dance runs a sacred nectar through her daughter's hair, her two hands a crucible of liquid gold. Such piety. She dampens

the fields locks growing like maize, replenishing the roots, olive reeds growing out of my temples. Coconut cream seeps into my mind like rainwater on a damp forest floor. Almonds, soak the smell of bad um lingers like smoke no matter the oil. The pride of millions of

matriarchs perched on my head, a crown. But the pride turns to shame when the oil from another mother gets you called a foe. No, we were born over. Pool of oil are dark skin ripened to match the gold's. Those that call themselves the winners conquerors, they're

calling the cowards call us the enemies in the name of the commodity. Those who kissed the sweet smelling red earth, blessed by their mother because she named them her protectors. But why is that that those who are blessed are the ones who have to pray. Those

who embrace their mothers are the ones that have to pay cowards kill their paradise for this charcoal like tar and to create their suffocating concrete towers and to drive their malignant cars. For have you forgotten the paradise she gave you for free? Because how can we

be so ignorant for now there is no paradise to see. The fields are gone and one can hardly breathe. I'm sorry. We are the ones who fail to, your mother failed to protect you, but the oil and our hair dances with the oil, our so called

Saviors want to read for those who don't know this is the crisis of the Middle East, wow. So there's again a lot there but more, more family imagery as well with others. And you mentioned earlier about um Mhm. I felt you implied that maybe your mom

has a background in writing. Um and and your dad and poetry. Yes. Um My my dad actually has a background in poetry. Um My mom not so much in writing. Um but I think my mom was more the contributor of teaching me or native language because

she herself had you know, that she couldn't speak english. So I feel like I got more of my like language and cultural education for my mom. Um But my dad was kind of the connector of you know, living here and living in Pakistan. Mhm. So who

would you say your biggest influences are as a poet? Well as you can see you mentioned imagery of like mothers and family and yeah, I think when I think about poetry, I think my muse my family and specifically the women in my family, you know, um

as a brown brown woman, as a muslim woman. You know, there's a lot of times where there's images um stereotypes or assumptions of being oppressed or not having a voice. Um and a lot of the women in my family lived at home, they weren't, you know,

working women, they you know, care for their Children. Um, but I feel like that that's there's a gap there because, you know, growing up here, it's very much career, you can do whatever you want. So when I think of it, I I try to show the

beauty of women hood and the beauty of women who live there and you know, dedicated so much to their households and these practices which are really art. Um like in the poem, I talk about, I connected to, you know, soiling your daughter's hair or your Children's

hair. And I think that's very a cultural thing, like, you know, hair has such respect and like you treat it with like, you know, kindness. Um, and I think the women in my house were just very strong images. Um they thought they were the ones to

really fight for our family, you know, coming here, living in America, in fact, my grandmother was the reason we're all here. Um even though she didn't know about America that much and she does, it still doesn't know english, but I think there's a lot of strength

there and um oftentimes women are overlooked. So I want to show that beauty um in my poetry. Cool. Mhm. And when you, since you started writing poetry later in your life, paid you sound really old, You're not um more recently in your life, you did you

have any teachers that um stand out to you as being people who were influential in awaking you to poetry or the craft of it. Oh, 100%. Um I think especially in our culture to teachers have like this very big role. Um it's very much it's like

coming of age guidance mentors and um as being as a person who kind of struggled in the english classroom, struggled a lot in the english classroom. Um I think every english teacher that I've had really has cultivated, brought me up to this point where I can

write like this um and gives me confidence to write like this, but I think specifically in high school it was kind of the turning point. I mean I'm a speech kid so I love to perform but writing what um where I had my weakness so I

kind of compensated performing for that writing weakness. I always tried. Um so specifically I think shout out um miss deacons because she got me into the poetry out loud competition. Um that kind of changed my world and then mr Vanek this year for ap literature. I

mean he's in Alaska now because he moved last year here but I think that he taught me a lot about you know, the style and structure that goes into poetry. I think I used to think that poetry was um the one thing I could do because

you can play around with style um even if it's not like on purpose, you can really play with it and there is a lot of emotive value that comes from it, but it taught me that you know, how to use those style and that structure to

tell story. Um I think that's really cultivated. My poet should do be like this from when I was writing two years before. Yeah. And do you feel like your poetry fits within a certain school or tradition or is it more individual to you? Um I think

poetry has always been, you know, this reflection of my identity, like kind of like a mirror um what I would be really thinking about, that's what I would write about. But I think that also talks about what type of genre what school of poetry it is

in. Because being a first generation, you know, a student, a first generation woman living in the United States, I'm kind of mixture of everything. I have my cultural roots and then I have my american roots and then there's also this very big love for, you know,

um pop culture and american culture that you can see in our generation. So I think that all kind of bleeds onto the page. Um so I have a lot of like I'm really inspired by you know rumi and Pakistani poets, but then there's like I take

from those themes, but then there's also a lot of elements of english poetry, they're going to structure and style. So it kind of just blends together into this new hybrid type of school I guess. Well, let's hear another one of course. Um, so this next one

is a bit shorter. Um, but I think talks a lot about, you know, has a very powerful message. Um, it's called Shoes. We should drink from Our shoes. Then maybe we wouldn't be so ignorant. We should first sip their souls then maybe we wouldn't be so

empty. Lastly we should gulp down each other's stories. Then maybe we wouldn't be so thirsty for each other's blood. Thank you Tyson a bit with your last poem as well. I think some and perhaps images of violence, but on a similar, less happy note, you know,

past two years have been very difficult for many people, especially locally fires and pandemic and or the protests about police brutality and racism last year have things influenced your art in any way. 100%. Um you know, when we think of my generation, we are coming across

things that are so new almost, it's a big, big change. Um, and it's hard because we're kind of um, specifically for me, I'm a senior, so I'm graduating in one week really. Um, and you know, it's this really big change that I'm seeing in my life

personally, in my surroundings around me. And it's it's kind of this place of like reflecting back on what we have done, but then also being like, what do we have to change now? You know, it's like, it's not the point of just let's just observe what

we did wrong is action. Like we have to take action or things are never going to change. So, I think that's, you know, climate change, um, the social protests, social movements, everything is kind of affecting my poetry right now. Because um, one thing my dad said

to me, it's like, you know, a lot of kids don't have the position you have right now, make use of it. So I've never thought of poetry is just, you know, let me just write this down my feelings. I always think of it as a platform

because a lot of people don't get these opportunities to, you know, have their voice be listened to. Um and coming from that background of immigrant parents, you know, it's a lot of like at one point my parents were scared they didn't want me to say a

lot because it's this place of respect, but there's also this place of fear. Um and so you don't get that voice, but being a first generation, I feel like I have the audacity to, you know, demand that I need to be listened to. My voice needs

to be respected um and talk for people who don't have a voice. So yeah, shoes um specifically was really about this place of empathy and you know this um analogy I guess I heard when I was kidding, you know, we should wear each other's shoes. Um

you know, walk in each other's shoes for one day and I think that that's where it came from, that, you know, shoes also have souls and it's kind of this like just merge of ideas. Um, but yes, specifically with so many movements going on right now,

so many injustices and growing up as a kid in right now or as a young adult right now, um there's this balance between performative action and this balance between actually doing something and I feel like, oh, it's really easy for us to be like, oh this

is a trend like let's just get on this very hype right now. Um, but these issues have been happening for a while and I think, um especially in the Middle East, you know, as a muslim, I knew of whatever was happening in weeks, I really couldn't

say anything or do anything because we need legislation. Um, that's a big point of action where we need, you know, big, like people to talk about this. So it's not until now that, you know, social movements and people's, you know, human rights violations have really been

put on the spot because it's just that charged atmosphere. And I think that's a silver lining in the pandemic, its were stuck at home. And I think that's somehow amplified our attention to what's happening in our world and what we need to change. So I think,

yes, speaking from that perspective as, you know, gen z immigrant, you know, being in the pandemic a student, I think all these factors yeah, really play a part. So you see art as both catalyst and mirror Exactly, yeah. Okay. Um and do you consider your poetry

and art or you consider it a craft? A little bit of column, a little bit of column B Yeah, I I think so. Um I definitely think it's an art in the aspect is so beautiful. But I usually think that when I read poetry that other

people produce, I'm always like, oh, this is art, like, this is so beautiful, you know, like, oh, the structure of the style. Um but I think of my own poetry, Self confidence kind of goes down. It might be just 13 and me that's like not going

to tell yet, but it's like this, you know, like a lot of times I feel um imposter syndrome, you know, as a kid, as you know, I'm english is not my first language. I'm like, this is really good. Like I don't know what the heck is

for. Um but then I think that's when I think more of it as a craft, When I'm like feeling like even if it's not good, it has a message. So that's why I always try to incorporate a message. But I'm trying, I'm like seeing the art

in my poetry nowadays. I'm like learning to have that like self confidence. Um but yeah, like you said, they will call me a bit of Colby. Well, let's let's hear another. Yeah, for sure. So a little bit more of a positive note. Um this is good

night and speak dreams. It's one of my older poems, but I think I'm transitioning from that point of, you know, Yeah, adolescence and really like now I'm an adult. Um but it's nice to reflect back on my past and I talked about Long Island. So this

is um a poem from just the feeling of being in Long Island Good night and speak dreams. Anticipating footsteps. The grass whispers amongst itself, cushions the bare soles of feet, my toes gradually sinking into a pillow of darkness as they do in the pearl white sand

of Long Island's Shore. The wind hums, tired lee sulking, snoring through the yard, reaching the shadows of red cedars and maple trees, the branches twitching in their sleep creaking sleep talking to the leaves. The chilled silence obscure, oddly calming, nearly serene, until the stars showered down

on me, fireflies pouring out of the darkness. Night lights illuminating a comforting glow in the velvet sky, as reassuring as a voice softly murmuring. There is nothing to be afraid of when there's only the calm of darkness and a hum of silence Evenings in New York

2008. Yeah, that's beautiful. What do you what can you tell us about any projects that you might be working on or plans for the future? Um So yeah, I've mentioned um graduating somebody's gonna hear. Um But I think you know, there's this really big point um

of review reevaluating my poetry because and when I'm specifically what I'm gonna do in poetry because um for so long I've been blessed with this beautiful community of Stone County and the poetry scene is just so converting, so nice and beautiful. Um And the people are

just so supporting. Um But going into this new area, I just don't know you know what the poetry scene is going to be like um if there's gonna be a different vibe and I think urban area is usually it's it's a little looks a little different.

Um But at this point, I think, you know, as my term as you poet laureate, um you you poet laureate is ending. Um I think it's more going to be focused on a bigger project than these like small readings. Um And I think of cultivating um

a collection, perhaps a book um just about the experience of being a brown women in the United States um and kind of reflecting on that, you know, experience. And I think one of my biggest inspirations in that has been, you know, ruby core and just a

beautiful, beautiful poetry. Um But I don't know, I feel like there's this point of like, will people read it or um is my this unique kind of experience going to be as relatable to people as I might think it is. But you know, I'm working on

it, I'm working on it and you know, I've got a couple of poems and I'm really excited to, you know, just put them into something that I can show the world. How long does it take you to come up with a poem that you feel is

finished? A bargain is like this never finished. But usually um it's really weird. I have a really unique process. Um I talked to my friends a lot of my family, you know, um and I'm always trying to get inspiration from articles or you know, like a

line or analogy. So I write down these titles and I'll just write down a title and usually I'll try to connect it with something a little mundane, and then I will try to bring it up into this like thematic thing and I think it's very much

like a big thematic essay into like a small piece of like poetry. Um So I usually write down the title, I've got a couple of titles. Um And when I get the time or you know, I'm just up at night thinking about something. Um I'll try

to like write some lines of a or a verse of the poem related to those titles, those topics and then usually to hash an actual poem down, I think it takes like 34 hours. Um And that's a lot of revisiting writing it down, changing it copy

and pasting, revisiting again, taking from other stuff. Um And then I have it for a little while, but every once in a while I have this collection of poems and I just grow through it, like I read through it and like how do I change structure?

How do I change the style? How do I like, what do I think about this topic now? How can I make this better? Um I'm very much like visual imagery, type of person feeling type of person. So the emotive qualities when I'm writing something down really

quickly is definitely there. I think I go back and revisit it to change the style and structure to even more emphasized or greater and greatly emphasized um the meaning and message behind the pole. Mhm. Yeah. So you said you're looking forward to maybe getting a book

published? Have have you in any chat books or anything like that? No, no I haven't yet. So this will be my first project. Um and I actually got a contract when I became the youth poet laureate of Sonoma County to have a publication. Um They were

so nice in allowing me, you know full creative freedom like creative liberties. Um So like I can go to chat book route if it's a little smaller. Um but right now I think I definitely want this to be more of a book in the sense that,

you know, there's a lot of like this topic has a lot of poems and messages behind it, but let's see where it goes. Yeah. So at as we wrap up, is there anywhere that anyone can find your work right now? Not right now. Um I'm still

like just more of like a reading type of person. Um But I think I might like, you know, I'm looking into maybe opening up a like social media or you know, website. Um But yeah, I'm like revisiting all this stuff right now. Well, thank you so

much soy Achmed for joining us and um we look forward to reading your book whenever it comes out. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.