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All right. So my name is Fiona. I use she, her pronouns. My name is Forest. I use they them pronouns. My name is Wilder. I use she her pronouns. My name's Kai Boyd. I use he him and we're interviewing Kai today and learning just a little

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bit more about him. So, yeah, this is our first time meeting him. And um yeah, do you want to start off with the first one? You can start any meaning? There's some questions. I have a question though. Um When did you move to Sebastopol? Yeah. OK.

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Well, let's clarify. I don't live in Sebastopol. I live in Santa Rosa when you move to Santa Rosa in July of 2000. Ok. Where did you live before that? San Francisco? Um So you started out, was it Montana? Is where? Yeah, I'm, I was born and

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raised in Great Falls, Montana. I was born in 1964. So I'm 58 years old. So, yeah. And why did you move to California for business or um my then boyfriend now, husband and I at the time were living in Indianapolis, Indiana, which is where we met

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and we decided it was time to get the hell out of Indiana. Can you swear in a library of Congress recording? Um, anyway, um, so we just, we just, um, decided, you know, it was, we were going to come to the west coast and it was

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either Seattle or San Francisco. And so in November 1993 we picked up and moved without jobs and, but we had a place to stay and so we just moved. Yeah. So I can, can I ask a question? I need inspiration right now. But, um, ok, yeah,

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I think I'm gonna choose some of these because I just don't want to wait. Um, well, tell me about like the most important people in your life specifically. Well, I guess that would be my husband Michael. Um, I'm, I guess you would call us a multigenerational

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or cross generational relationship because my husband is 15 years older than I am. So, um, that's, that's been a constant dynamic. Um, but really, I think, you know, we figured out a long time ago, age is just a number and, you know, we don't worry about

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it. Um, I guess the second per most important person in my life would be my brother. Um, I have a younger brother, Byron and he's 3.5 years younger than I am. Uh, we lost our parents in the last five years. So it's now just he and

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I, so it's, you know, in some ways it's brought us closer and, but we've always been close. So, yeah. So those would be the two. Was your brother very supportive of you? My brother outed me to my parents, to our parents. So, um, he took a

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while to come around but he's, he's come around. But, you know, I mean, Michael and I have been together for over 30 years so he's had lots of time to adjust. So, um, but yeah, I think, you know, he, he and I have a, he and

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I have a good relationship but he's, you know, it's, it's very interesting because two kids raised in the same household, same school system, you know, same, basically everything and in some ways we couldn't be more different because my brother is very into sports and everything is

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very black and white. Win, lose. Yes. No. Right. Wrong. And I see the world as a million shades of gray, there's very little absolute black or absolute white. You know, there's, you know, don't kill people. That's an absolute, but there's, you know, there's, there's, there's shades

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and gradations of everything. And so it's just sort of interesting sometimes when you grow up in that same environment and it's just like you turn out so differently. So anyway, may I ask how old, uh did you, uh, how old were you? And your, I guess,

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brother, how did you, let's see, um, 27 or 28. I came out late. I didn't come out until I was 22. So, which is late these days. Um, I mean, I knew probably at 12 or 13 I always knew it was different from the other kids

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and I, and I, you know, I didn't want to hang around with the boys. I was much more interested in being friends with the girls. Um, you know, at recess and stuff like that. I didn't want to play kickball or, you know, do any of those

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boy things. So, um, but I got called gay and fag and Lesie and other things, you know, before I knew what those words meant. And so junior high and high school were hard. Um, and it took me a long time to accept myself before I was

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ready to like, you know, tell anybody else. So had you moved to California when you would come out or was it before? This is all in Montana? This is in Montana in the 19 seventies. So, um, yeah, it was a very different environment. I mean, I

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graduated from high school in 1982. Um, and then I went to college and it was really when I was, when I left college that I came out really. And, um, you know, the A I DS was just coming on the national scale. It was a scary

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time to come out. So, yeah. So how did you meet your husband? Uh, we work together. Um, and so we both worked at Indiana Repertory Theater. And one day I was actually copying my resignation letter at the copier. And he says, well, what are you doing?

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I said, I'm resigning. He says, well, do you want to go have dinner and celebrate? And I was like, ok, so we went out and we had dinner and then he says, well, there's this new gay bar in town. So we went and checked it out

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and I had a couple of drinks and we were dancing and apparently I kissed him. I don't remember this and then I kissed him again and then the third time he decided to help. But what I do remember is we were dancing and it was a

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room about half the size of this one and along one whole wall were mirrors, you know, very gay bar. And um at one point we're dancing and we're making out like crazy and, and we both kind of open our eyes and realize we're the only ones

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dancing. Everyone else is watching us just close your eyes and keep going. So we created a scene. Well, it turned out well, yeah. So that's funny. Um Yeah. Yeah. What like what makes you, like, feel free in your identity and like that's helped you along the

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way. Well, I'm my own boss for one. I don't know. I think you ready. I've always been kind of fiercely independent and kind of gone my own way even as a, even as a kid, you know, I wasn't necessarily into all the other things, things that

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the other kids were into, you know, I like to read books and I was very into movies and, you know, and just, I've always, I've always been independent and I've always been pretty self reliant, you know, I was always capable of entertaining myself. So, um, I

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think that's helped me, you know, because it's, you know, I am who I am. I don't apologize for who I am and if you don't like it or you can't deal with it. Well, that's your problem. Not mine. You know, I mean, I just, I am

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who I am to the world. I don't, I don't have a public persona and a private persona or a professional persona. I mean, I just, I am who I am. You know, there's no, there's no masks, there's no, there's no, you know, hiding, I'm outspoken and

00:10:07.650 - 00:10:25.599

opinionated and if you don't like it, well, that's damn bad. That's a great way to live. It can be. It can be. So you said you were, you were married with your husband now, right? Yeah, we got married on our 25th anniversary. We, we, we had

00:10:25.609 - 00:10:44.710

an, when Gavin Newsom first started marrying people in San Francisco in, I forget what year it was. But it was the year that Mel Gibson's passion of the Christ came out because people were lining up at City Hall. It was February people were lining up at

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City Hall in San Francisco and it was, it was February in San Francisco. It's raining and, you know, they'd be standing out in line all day and I'm like, I don't wanna do that. Michael asked me if I wanted to get married and I was like,

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not like that. And so, and then I'll never forget it because it was the day we were opening Passion of the Christ, which was kind of a big deal because it was, you know, it was just such a strange film. And, um, that day George Bush

00:11:15.520 - 00:11:30.969

came out against marriage equality and it was on the front page of the Press Democrat and it just pissed me off. And so I was driving to work and I called Michael and I said, you know, that question you asked me, yes, I do wanna get

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married. So, and by that point, it was like the city of San Francisco realized, you know, this, having a line outside the city hall all day long is ridiculous. We need to like make appointments for these people. I was like, I can get down with appointments,

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you know, I just so, um, we had an appointment, we were gonna get married and then the Supreme California Supreme Court stopped it. And so, and then it became legal in California, but it wasn't legal federally. And I was like, no, I am doing this once

00:12:04.219 - 00:12:20.510

in my lifetime. I am not going to have some court take it away from me. So we waited for the Supreme Court to rule on prop eight. And then, you know, our 25th anniversary was coming up. And so we said, well, let's have a 25th anniversary

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party. And we were like, well, we'll get married as part of the 25th anniversary party. We focused on the party, everyone else focused on wedding, but we focused on the party. And so we had a, we had a really lovely time. So my mom said it

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was the best wedding she'd ever been to like, because that's an anniversary party. And you know, and when you're, when you're a gay couple or a queer couple, you get to do it your way. You know, you get to say, OK, I'm gonna do this, I'm

00:12:50.659 - 00:13:07.419

not gonna do that. You know, that's the, that's the kind of the great thing is, is, you know, even in, in our, in my relationship, there's no, you know, we don't follow along traditional gender roles. I mean, you know, we both load the dishwasher, we both

00:13:07.429 - 00:13:18.900

put away the dishwasher, we both take out the garbage. You know, we, there's a lot of, you know, we, we share, there are things that there are things that he's better at that he does. There's things that I'm better at that. I do. I mean, I'm,

00:13:18.929 - 00:13:33.520

I'm lousy with plants. So, you know, I don't mess around with the plants. But, you know, I mean, you get to, you get to make it up as you go and you get to decide what you wanna do. You know, I mean, it's, there's not that,

00:13:33.530 - 00:13:54.119

you know, well, you know, you're the man, you're the woman, blah, blah, all that bullshit. So, and here I am swearing for the Library of Congress again. Um, what were your parents like, like when, when you were growing up? Um, I guess, well, I mean, my

00:13:54.130 - 00:14:13.820

dad owned his own business. I mean, my, my parents were always very supportive of my brother and I as kids and with what we wanted to do, um, it was actually my grandfather, my father's father who suspected I was gay before anyone else did and apparently

00:14:13.830 - 00:14:30.669

it was quite the family discussion. But nobody ever asked me. I, I had some of that too and so I just, you know, and I was never, I've never been a big proponent of the, you know, ok, I'm making my coming out announcement thing. I was

00:14:30.679 - 00:14:45.969

always like, you know, if you wanna know, then ask me, you know, and when you're ready to know, you'll ask me, but if you're not ready to know, then I'm not gonna tell you because I just don't, you know, I don't, I don't know, I, too

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many stories and too many movies and all but drama and I was just like, forget it. So, I mean, I'm, you know, I'm, which is not to say that you shouldn't come out. But I just, you know, don't do it at a moment where it's gonna

00:15:04.130 - 00:15:20.650

always be like, oh, that was that this whole big drama, you know? You know, I think you have to, you have to meet people, you know, when they're, when they're ready, you know, when they're ready to accept and process the information. So, anyway, but I mean,

00:15:20.659 - 00:15:38.500

it took, my, my mom came around quicker than my dad but my dad really liked my husband a lot and, and I think that helped, you know, and, and it's, and part of it is is you have to put in the work, you have to go,

00:15:38.510 - 00:15:53.609

you have to spend time with them, you have to let them get to know you as your whole self. You have to let people in. So it's a two way, it's a two way street, there's a lot of responsibility on both sides. So, in my opinion.

00:15:54.849 - 00:16:10.210

Yeah. Yeah. As well as, like, it's, like, assumed that you're gonna be like heterosexual and you have to, like, also just, like, come out because, like, it would be like, I'm not heterosexual as if like, like no one's ever like, uh, I'm straight like that. There's

00:16:10.219 - 00:16:30.330

no, like, coming out for, like, yeah, there's no, there's no coming out for straight people and it's like, coming out is a, I mean, you do it almost every single day. I mean, you know, you encounter new people and, you know, live your life truthfully and

00:16:30.340 - 00:16:53.099

authentically and all those Oprah Iss and, you know, but you do you meet people every single day? So, um you said your dad owned his own business, did that like, push you or motivate you to have your own business? Um I think it definitely provided an

00:16:53.109 - 00:17:08.750

example, you know, I mean, because I saw my dad as his own boss and I really admired my dad in what he did and I just, you know, I was like, yeah, I could do that. I mean, my business is much different than his but, you

00:17:08.760 - 00:17:37.400

know, I mean, he had a fast food restaurant. It was called, it was called the Burger Master and, um, it was actually my first job. So, anyway, um, it was before mcdonald's came to Montana. So, um, let's see. Uh, ok. Yeah, I guess, well, this will

00:17:37.410 - 00:17:58.099

be for next year but, um, when elections come up, I guess for like, or should we get political? Sure, why not? Um, when it comes like, I guess to the 2024 elections, um, what, uh, what does it say? How do you feel affected by the current,

00:17:58.109 - 00:18:19.819

like, I guess political parties and their opinions in certain ways and like, what they want to do, I guess as leaders or? Well, this is one of those areas where it's not a million shades of gray. It's pretty black and white. Um, you know, and, you

00:18:19.829 - 00:18:38.000

know, there's, this, people are like, well, I don't, you know, I don't, I don't love this candidate. I don't doubt it's like, you know, you're not marrying the political party, you're not marrying the candidate. You know, you're, you're choosing, you're choosing between two alternatives. And, you

00:18:38.010 - 00:18:57.569

know, assuming that the democratic nominee is going to be our current president and the Republican nominee is going to be one of the field of clown cars. You know, you just, yeah, there are things about President Biden, um, and Vice President Harris that I'm not in

00:18:57.579 - 00:19:19.319

love with, but it's better than the alternative, you know, and it's better not just for me as a person, but for the country as a whole, for the world as a whole. I mean, I think we have to look outside of our own self interest, you

00:19:19.329 - 00:19:37.040

know. Um, that being said, there are, there is some merit to being what's called a single issue voter, you know, and I've been a single issue voter on things in the past, you know, I mean, but my issue has always been LGBT rights and my right

00:19:37.050 - 00:19:57.550

as a person to exist. Um, you know, um, yeah, I have opinions on abortion. I have opinions on climate change. I have opinions on a lot of things, but I'm not looking for a political candidate that's going to check every single box, you know. So I

00:19:57.560 - 00:20:16.349

just, um, you know, it's a, it's a process. It's, is it screwed up? Is it, is it ridiculous the whole way we do it? Absolutely. You know, I, I really like the Australian model. It's a six week campaign. There's no outside money. It's entirely funded by

00:20:16.359 - 00:20:31.989

the government. And so, you know, it's not this, you know, you get elected and you immediately start campaigning to get re-elected. It's, it's much different, you know, like, you can actually, like, govern so, you know, but I mean, the other thing is, is that, you know,

00:20:32.000 - 00:20:47.410

the thing that I want, I think that if you're going to run for elected office in this country and I don't care if you're running for dog catcher or president of the United States. If you can't pass a written high school civics final, you should not

00:20:47.420 - 00:21:00.729

be eligible to have your name on the ballot. I mean, you guys take civics, right? Or government or? Ok. Yeah, because it used to be in my day. It was called Civics. Yeah. But, you know, I mean, I think you shouldn't be able to run for

00:21:00.739 - 00:21:26.319

government if you have no clue how government actually works or what the purpose of government actually is. So I'm on my soapbox. I told you I was opinionated. What's next? Do you wanna go? Has religion played any influence on your, like, um, my parents were not

00:21:26.329 - 00:21:44.910

religious. Um, I mean, I was baptized in the Presbyterian church because it was important to my grandmothers. Um, but, you know, my dad's religion was golf and so he was playing golf on Sunday. So we didn't go to church. I mean, there was a couple of

00:21:44.920 - 00:22:02.150

moments where they were like, oh, we should go to church for the boys and we were in Sunday school for a little while, which I thought was just complete and utter nonsense. Um, and, um, so, I mean, I'm spiritual but I'm not religious. I believe organized

00:22:02.160 - 00:22:17.270

religion is one of the roots of all evil in the world. And I'm not just talking about the Christian church. I mean, I'm talking about across the board. They all have skeletons in their closets. I just, I am not a fan of, I'm not a fan

00:22:17.280 - 00:22:39.449

of organized religion. And so, um um I, I tend to label myself as an agnostic, you know. So, yeah. Um, do you wanna ask something? Um I was gonna ask kind of go like a different route but I was gonna ask, how did, like COVID affect

00:22:39.459 - 00:22:56.770

your life? Like it did it or was it like, oh, it affected everyone's lives? Yeah. Like, I mean, like major, I mean, it was the biggest impact on my life was the fact that, you know, we had to close the theater for 14 months. And how

00:22:56.780 - 00:23:12.050

do you keep the brand going? How do you keep the business in the public eye? It was, you know, how do you apply for government assistance. There's all this stuff, I mean, it was like, it was really like, ok, a whole different job I had to

00:23:12.060 - 00:23:30.959

learn and it wasn't like I stopped working. I kept working, I was working harder when I wasn't going to work every day than I was trying to just, you know, keep things going. Um, so that was the biggest impact, the, you know, the, the not knowing

00:23:30.969 - 00:23:56.959

and the rhetoric and all that stuff was, you know, very mentally draining, emotionally draining. I mean, I, I'm still tired. Um, but, you know, I mean, I think the, you know, getting that first vaccination was really, um, an important moment, you know, because it was like,

00:23:56.969 - 00:24:15.670

it was like, ok, there's some hope, you know, and we've learned a lot since then and, you know, it's not a, it's not a silver bullet, it's not a cure. But, um, it's, you know, it's, it's important and, um, so yeah, COVID was definitely, it was

00:24:15.680 - 00:24:33.479

a huge, I mean, it's still a huge impact. I mean, we're still struggling to get back to profitability so it still impacts my life on a daily basis. Um So, yeah, how was it like opening up the theater after the 14 months and like going back

00:24:33.910 - 00:24:51.400

to, um, it was, it was hard. I mean, we, when we closed naively we believed, you know, oh, it's gonna be a couple of weeks or a month and, you know, and it was like, so, you know, we were like, ok, we're gonna open in July.

00:24:51.410 - 00:25:02.550

So we were ready in July of 2020 to open and I was like, oh no, it's gonna be September. We're, it's gonna be November and it's like, you know, it's like it was like this constantly being delayed thing. So we were kind of in this state

00:25:02.560 - 00:25:12.939

of like, ok, we gotta be ready to open, we gotta be ready to open and, and so finally, when it was like, ok, we can open, it's like, all right, so now what do we have to do? Well, the first thing is like, ok, do we

00:25:12.949 - 00:25:28.380

have a staff? And it's like, so then you have to and we kept track of a lot of our people but, you know, people moved on, people did other things. And so we started with a few people that came back, but then we recruited basically an

00:25:28.390 - 00:25:44.290

all new staff. And so then it's like, ok, pardon me? We have to open from square one and we have to train all these people. And so it was um it was, it was, it was fun, it was challenging, it was, it was kind of a,

00:25:44.300 - 00:25:59.239

it was a good bonding experience because, you know, we all had a common goal. So, um but it's, you know, it has its, it certainly has its struggles. There's days where, you know, you have, nobody comes to certain movies and it doesn't start and that's just

00:25:59.250 - 00:26:23.560

depressing as hell. But, you know, it's, you know, you keep putting 1 ft in front of the other. It's like everything else in life. Get up, show up, do your thing and coming for me is not a morning person. Are there any lessons that you've learned

00:26:23.569 - 00:26:56.670

from living through the pandemic? Yeah. Um, four. I'm stronger than I knew I was. Um, you know, um, learned a lot about, you know, airborne diseases, learned more about what's wrong with our health care system. Learned that there are more wackos in the world than I

00:26:56.680 - 00:27:16.329

ever imagined. Um, you know, I mean, yeah, I mean, it's, you know, and I mean, people, people think of, think of, you know, Sonoma County and West Sonoma County and northern California is like this liberal bubble. But there are, there are wackos among us, you know,

00:27:16.339 - 00:27:35.310

and they, and there's no reasoning with them. They're just illogical. I mean, we had a policy because we were required by law to do it in our two East Bay Theaters and we just for consistency, we did it for all three theaters about requiring proof of

00:27:35.319 - 00:27:50.369

vaccination. You know, we felt it was the right thing to do because we wanted our, we wanted our staff to be safe. We wanted our audiences to be safe. We've done these audience surveys, you know, where we'd sent out emails and had people answer questions and

00:27:50.380 - 00:28:04.209

stuff and you know, the one of the things was, you know, they needed to feel safe and proof of vaccination was something that, you know, our customers because that's who we were surveying told us they wanted. So it's like, ok, we can do that. And it

00:28:04.219 - 00:28:22.099

was actually um a West County school event that really got us in trouble because there was this documentary called Angst. I don't know if any of you saw it. I heard about it but we got protesters, we had picketers. It was about teenage angst, but it

00:28:22.109 - 00:28:39.089

was, they were, they were upset because we weren't allowing people that weren't vaccinated to come and see it. It was like, yeah, it was just, it was ridiculous. It was completely ridiculous. But it was like, you know, it was like, ok, yeah, there are wackos among

00:28:39.099 - 00:28:56.760

us. So, I mean, and you know, I mean, and I knew there was an anti vaxxer population in West County before that because we had, you know, I think it was 2016 or something. There was sort of a measles outbreak and I was like, I am

00:28:56.770 - 00:29:13.000

not adding measles to my list of medical accomplishments. So I went to my doctor and I said, you know, I remember having an mmr am I still covered by it? He's like, and he knows I work with the public and where I work and everything and

00:29:13.010 - 00:29:30.270

he said, well, we should find out. So let's do a blood test, did a blood test. I didn't have any antibodies so I got a new, mmr because, you know, not catching measles. So, I mean, it's, you know, it's, I don't know, it's just so weird

00:29:30.280 - 00:29:53.810

to live in a time when science is not absolute, you know, it just is, it just baffles me that, you know, you, you don't believe the scientists. So, anyway, ok, I'm on my soapbox. You getting me on my soapbox? Mhm. Um What's the craziest thing that

00:29:53.819 - 00:30:15.660

has happened like with your theaters or like in your protesters coming? Because we were, we were requiring vaccination. That was one of the craziest. Um The other craziest was um when Fahrenheit 911, Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911 was released in 2004. It was just nuts. It was

00:30:15.670 - 00:30:30.109

just so crazy, busy and people were just desperate to see that movie and we were selling out every show and it was just, it was so hot out. It was, it was, it was late June or early July and it was just, it was just, it

00:30:30.119 - 00:30:44.849

was so hot. We couldn't like have the lines for the next show outside. We had to have them in the lobby and it was just so loud all the time. So when the last movie went up and it was kinda like, oh, thank God, the lobby's

00:30:44.859 - 00:31:08.130

quiet. So, anyway, um where do you work? Like what specific realtor cinemas? Oh, really? Oh, very cool. Yeah, I'm the owner. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So, um, anyway, and you said you worked in theaters before moving to California? I worked in the, when I worked at

00:31:08.140 - 00:31:34.540

Indiana Repertory Theater. That's a live performing arts. So, a little different. But, yeah, I've done both live performing arts and filmed arts. So, that's cool. Yeah. What made you wanna be in that business? Lifelong dream? I was, I think, five or six when my mom took

00:31:34.550 - 00:31:51.420

my brother and I to see Walt Disney's the Aristocats at the Liberty Theater in Great Falls Montana. And I fell in love with it. And then in kindergarten one day we had a movie. I can't tell you what the movie was, but I was fascinated by

00:31:51.430 - 00:32:06.540

that projector in the back of the room. I mean, this is, this is a thing. They don't have 16 millimeter projectors in school anymore. You guys missed it completely. You know, now they just like stream something but, you know, the 16 millimeter projector and I was

00:32:06.550 - 00:32:24.160

just f you know, the reels go round and I was just fascinated by the whole thing. And um I mean, I had had this obsession since I was a, a toddler about things that went in circles, the washing machine, the sprinklers car tires, you know, I

00:32:24.170 - 00:32:40.859

mean, so when the reels of the projector, that was it, I was hooked. Did you ever make a film yourself? No, I mean, I know, I know myself well enough to know that I don't have that artistic talent. My artistic talent is, is I can go.

00:32:41.089 - 00:33:06.819

Yes, people want to see that and I know how to get them to come see it. That's my talent. So, you know, II I have, can't sing, can't dance, can't act, you know, not a filmmaker. So, so anyway, that's cool. You, I don't know. Oh, come

00:33:06.829 - 00:33:28.530

on. Well, I was gonna ask, like, like, you know, in general, what's like one of your like happiest accomplishments or like memories or moments getting married in front of friends and family and my parents. And, you know, it was, it was a big deal and, you

00:33:28.540 - 00:33:51.750

know, um I've been wearing rings since our seventh anniversary. Um So back in the nineties. But um you know, it's just the whole, the formality of it, it means something, it means something and um yeah, so that's, I think that's, that's it, you know, I mean,

00:33:51.760 - 00:34:12.280

it's, and the other one would be, you know, creating a business that has been so embraced by the community and means so much to so many people. And, you know, I'm, I consider myself extremely fortunate because I get to earn my living doing something that I

00:34:12.290 - 00:34:34.089

truly love. You know, work is not drudgery for me. It's not this thing that I have to do so I can live my life. It is my life. So, yeah, it's cool. Yeah. So, um let's see, I just had a really good question and it just

00:34:34.099 - 00:34:52.289

disappeared. Right? I hate that when that happens. But the fact that that happens to you means to, says to me it's not aging. That is why it's happening to me. No, it's happened all the time for me. I mean, you know, I'll tell you one thing

00:34:52.299 - 00:35:13.629

that's kind of a, because I'm looking at this list of tags and I mean, I'm, my, my therapist told me I'm an anomaly among gay men that, that she's known because I have, I'm in a monogamous relationship. I've been in a monogamous relationship for 30 years.

00:35:14.300 - 00:35:33.370

I mean, I can count on two hands the number of people I've had sex with, I mean, I, you know, and that's unusual for gay men. Really unusual. So, um, you know, and so, um, but, you know, I mean, we are, the monogamous gay couple is

00:35:33.379 - 00:35:56.260

not gay male couple is not a unicorn. We do exist. So, just, you know, wanted to put that out there. Mhm. Let's see. Is there anything like you wanna, like, let the younger generations of, like, queer kids, like, know for their future, like, like us or

00:35:56.300 - 00:36:21.790

anything to help them? I'm trying to think of anything that doesn't sound pandering or just, well, well, anything that, like would have helped you when I guess when you were, I think the thing of it is is that, you know, visibility matters. And so I mean,

00:36:21.800 - 00:36:45.510

I went and did this thing a few years ago, pre pandemic over at um Maria Caro high school and I was doing a thing on LGBT represent representation in media. And uh the one of the teachers was actually had been an employee of mine long before

00:36:45.520 - 00:37:01.510

she became a teacher. And she said that, you know, in an email later, she said I made quite an impact on a bunch of students because I was the first gay person, some of them had ever met, which shocked me living in Sonoma County. But so

00:37:01.520 - 00:37:16.719

I think, you know, you have to be visible, you have to put yourself out there. And I mean, that's why I'm here today talking to you. I mean, you know, I, I could have stayed in bed and slept, you know, I mean, it's, you know, it's,

00:37:16.729 - 00:37:38.550

it's, and so you have to, if you want, if you want queer kids to have, you know, role models and dreams and aspire to things, you have to make yourself visible, you know, and it's not just visibility in media, it's just visibility in their, in your,

00:37:38.560 - 00:37:59.530

in the world, in their daily lives. And so, um, that, you know, I guess, you know, pay it forward, you know, there's generations, I mean, I, I had it a lot better than generations that came out before I did. I think, you know, there are in

00:37:59.540 - 00:38:15.419

a lot of ways it's changed so much for the better for you guys. But there's still so much work to be done. You know, kids still get bullied, kids still commit suicide. You know, it's, it's, which is tragic, you know, it's, and we got to find

00:38:15.429 - 00:38:30.489

a way to solve that problem. We got to find a way to make junior high and high school less mean in general. And I don't know how we solve that problem because it's not just about the queer kids, it's about everybody. Um, there's something societal about

00:38:30.500 - 00:38:51.790

it and, but we, we got to do better, but we got to do better by recognizing where we've come from and, you know, and, yeah, I mean, yeah, mistakes have been made, you know, but let's not let you know certain mistakes, you know, wipe out all

00:38:51.800 - 00:39:17.620

the progress that we've made. So, anyway, have you ever been to a pride or do you have any when I was just fy, it says we only have six minutes left. So, um, yeah, I went to Pride in Cincinnati when I lived in Cincinnati. I actually

00:39:17.629 - 00:39:31.159

marched in the pride parade when I lived in Cincinnati. I went to Pride in San Francisco a couple of times. But it's just, it's too big, it's too loud, it's too noisy. I just, you know, I mean, I have my own pride, you know, I mean,

00:39:31.169 - 00:39:48.379

I, I don't know, I just, I used to go to, um, Frame Line, the LGBT Film Festival at the, and, you know, at the Castro theater and, you know, we always ends up being there's a movie that you want to see on Pink Saturday and then

00:39:48.389 - 00:40:04.250

you come out of the Castro and into this whole street party mob and I mean, yeah, everybody's having a good time and they're celebrating and I'm just like, I just want to get the hell out of here. How do, what's the least, of least, what's the

00:40:04.260 - 00:40:21.610

way I can get to my car? The quickest, the least amount of interaction with everybody. So, I mean, I mean, you know, I, I'm glad we have pride but I don't, I'm not an active participant in it so, you know, just live in your life. Yeah.

00:40:21.860 - 00:40:38.689

Yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, yeah, you know, there's a, there's a great song by Heather Small called Proud. Um and there's a lyric in it. You could be so many people. What have you done today to make you feel proud? And that's, I mean,

00:40:38.699 - 00:40:52.020

I, I kind of try and live my life by that, you know. You know, I think because it's something, you know, we need to do it every day, not just once a year for, of the month or just for the month of June or, you know,

00:40:52.030 - 00:41:09.209

I mean, it's, I don't know, there's a whole, there's a whole part of rainbow com commercialism that I'm not real fond of, which is why you'll never see us put theater logo, you know, on a rainbow background or anything like that. It's like, you know, I

00:41:09.219 - 00:41:25.939

mean, we are who we are, you know, I just, but there, you know, there are brands that, that do that sort of thing but then you look at the whole thing with Bud Light and is her name Dana Mulvaney. Dylan Mulvaney. I knew it was ad,

00:41:25.949 - 00:41:49.239

yeah, you know, and that whole thing, which was just ridiculous and blown way out of proportion. But, you know, I mean, I don't know. I mean, it just seems, you know, that that's a consumer product that needs to appeal to the widest possible demographic, the entire

00:41:49.250 - 00:42:11.909

demographic spectrum and for the right wing to get so upset about it, it's just, it's like, you know, I mean, we, there are queer dollars in everything, you know, I mean, the, you know, I mean, we buy, we buy gas for our cars, we buy electricity,

00:42:11.919 - 00:42:33.550

we buy, you know, we buy food, we buy clothing, we buy shelter, you know, we, and so we're part of the economic system. So, you know, I mean, it's just ridiculous that people get upset about that. So, yeah, I loved how they were buying the beer

00:42:33.560 - 00:42:50.909

to pour it out because they're still supporting the company and it's not doing what and people you see these articles about, oh, because of this controversy, Bud Light sales are down 3% this year. Maybe sales are down because it's crappy beer and people are finally realizing

00:42:50.919 - 00:43:10.639

that, I mean, nobody's considering that argument. Oh, my God. You know. And I mean, there used to be a thing, was it in the eighties or nineties where gay bars wouldn't serve Coors? I never heard about that. Yeah. Check it out. Um, yeah, there have been

00:43:10.649 - 00:43:29.439

various boycotts of various brands and, you know, oh, I think my dad told me that because he used to be an actor in, um, Hollywood actually. And he told me that, like, his fans, like, there's a show that he was on called, like, um, the Virginian

00:43:29.449 - 00:43:42.939

or, um, buckskin or something like that. And, um, yeah, so, like his friends would, like, take that were, that were gay, like they would take him to these bars and, like, I think he said something about how Coors was just never really allowed and they took

00:43:42.949 - 00:44:05.389

down the signs when they first reopened it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, the beer companies, you know? Yeah, it's, it's crazy. Um, I mean, I'm more, I don't get too upset about the alcohol companies marketing to the, the queer community. It bothers me more

00:44:05.399 - 00:44:32.689

when it's the cigarette companies and the tobacco companies and, you know, that's just, yeah. And then everyone forgets about it in a few months. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But, yeah, we need bubble gum flavored tobacco. Who's that appealing to? Yeah. J, have you guys seen this?

00:44:32.699 - 00:44:59.520

Sheet. No. How about this? For a word? What's the word? Homos? Hoss? Oh, it's like a, it's like a gay thesaurus. I gotta say, I've never heard of that. From Homos, Arus. The T I just, oh, that's new. I haven't heard of that. Look, we have.